The blog incarnation of the Desperado mailing list, the voice of the apocryphalypse since 1978.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

.sig o' th' day 

"God knows nothing gets women hotter than a finely honed economic argument, unless it is the minutiae of D&D or _Campaigns of North Africa_."
– James Nicoll

posted by Tom  # 3/30/2005 01:40:00 PM

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Done in by outrage fatigue? 

You can't keep track of everything they do, can you?

You don't even know that they've gutted Title IX. Thanks to a "clarification" of the rules, rather than actually looking for compliance with the law requiring equal athletic facilities for women and men, a phony poll of students asking if they care at all will now suffice.

In one of the high points of my college humor career, I did an interview with the Apathy Movement: "We feel we are the true leaders of student opinion." Thanks to the Bush Administration, they not only lead, but police as well. Thus, the death of satire.
posted by Tom  # 3/27/2005 08:45:00 PM

Saturday, March 26, 2005

21st Century Wolfman in Love! 

It appears from this London Daily Mail dispatch that intercontinental neocon missile Paul Wolfowitz has met his Little Red Riding Hood. She wants freedom and justice for the Seychelles (whoever) and he wants debt and construction contracts. Can these spavined bedmates agree to disagree over the conference table? Or will the besotted neocon sacrifice all for love?
posted by Tom  # 3/26/2005 01:05:00 AM

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Headed for the red 

I'm off to deepest red-statia (also known as my home town). There will be three opinionated Massachusetts liberals for those gentle folk to deal with. I'll let you know how it all came out when we get back.

We are going to our mother's memorial service. I closed her service up here with the statment that she was "a southerner, a Christian, and a Democrat", and I'll be saying the same down there.
posted by Tom  # 3/17/2005 11:16:00 AM

Monday, March 14, 2005

Canaries in the coal mine, it's a gas gas gas 

I keep a short list of web logs whose disappearance will be a sign that the big clampdown has begun. These are places you may not want to go, but be assured that freedom of speech is there ahead of you.

In order of increasing dreadfulness:
The Memory Hole rescuing knowledge, freeing information

A cache of would-be secret documents that have been winkled out by diligent freedom cranks. Sample:
Senior US Officials Cozy up to Dictator Who Boils People Alive
Dreadful mostly in the political implications of the revelations.

Cruel Site of the Day

A little more dreadful, mostly mean links to web pages of interest to people who know that bad taste is timeless. Samples:
Orbitz blows, one man's $94 war against the online travel agency.

Handicapped Japanese wrestling
This sort of thing won't be allowed come the counter-revolution, when the First Commandment replaces the First Amendment.

Daily Rotten, news you cannot possibly use

Truly dreadful death and dismemberment, mixed heavily with news of official corruption and stupidity. I would advise never looking at any photos on this site (and click on links at your peril) but the daily pages cited here are merely disturbing and never have pictures.

Again, not for all tastes, or people with taste, but important because even things you don't necessarily want to know still ought to be knowable.
posted by Tom  # 3/14/2005 12:15:00 PM

News stories we never finished reading 

"After the tsunami, Scientologists: Dozens of Scientologist ministers
from the U.S. are treating tsunami victims in India, Indonesia, and Sri
Lanka with Dianetics, the Scientologsts' trademarked self-improvement
system." -- The Week magazine, 2/11/05
Per the immoderately moderate JO.
posted by Tom  # 3/14/2005 11:32:00 AM

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

UPDATE: Meet the new scam, better than the old scam 

President George W. "W" Bush's new plan:
Finance the wrecking of Social Security by wrecking public employee pension programs.

Ed's note: Reposted and redated to fix bad link.
posted by Tom  # 3/09/2005 02:05:00 PM

Monday, March 07, 2005

Shriveled little hearts, made of tar 

Giving voice to Oscar Wilde's time-tested view of fashion as "a form of beauty so hideous it must be changed every six months" – a pair of very bad girls who are jealous of their betters, and who never show themselves or their own clothes, make terrific fun, fully illustrated, of the hats, dresses, shoes, breasts, ankles, hairdos, posture, of a bunch of girly celebrities, many of whom you may have heard of.

The web log Go Fug Yourself: Fugly is the new pretty has a running commentary on the day's celebrity sag sightings and a convenient sidebar of classics (gotta get me one of those).

Jennifer Love Hewitt, for example, I bet you think you've heard of her, you know, J.Lo.Hew:
Her chest is very half-heartedly propped up by the peekaboo top, her thigh is presented to us like a Thanksgiving Day drumstick, and the whole thing looks a little bit like it was originally designed as a hybrid bikini/lounging dress for Kelly Taylor on Beverly Hills, 90210: The Beach Seasons. Indeed, if the Peach Pit After Dark ever opened a beach outpost, this is how the cocktail waitresses would dress.

Here, their blurbs:
"Hilarious bitches" -- Defamer

"Confirming everyone’s secret conviction that women are evil bayotches whose greatest pleasure is ripping other women’s looks and fashion sense to shreds." -- LA.com

"A barbed wit that makes Cojo and Joan Rivers seem like gushing fans." -- Variety

"Fantastically bitchy... great fun, unless you are famous." -- The Guardian

"are you people so inmature [sic] that u [sic] have to have a really stupid website" -- A reader

"Your shriveled little hearts must be made of tar." -- A reader

"If destiny has a heart, we will one day be friends." -- A reader

"Were you fat in high-school? You probably still are." -- A reader

posted by Tom  # 3/07/2005 09:24:00 AM

Friday, March 04, 2005

Who do you have to do to get a berth in the White House? 

Apparently undoctored photos of President George W. "W" Bush's Monica moment with gay whore/press whore Jim Guckert/Jeff Gannon here.

Link via Brother Dave, who comments:
The second snap is most disturbing. The coy smile. The eyes. The horror.

posted by Tom  # 3/04/2005 05:08:00 PM

Little glimspes of the mighty: William Randolph Hearst's prehensile toes 

William Randolph Hearst appointed columnist Gene Fowler the managing editor of the New York American. This was some time in the 20s:
He was thirty-four years old and the American, at that time, the biggest circulation of any paper in the country, yet he balked. He still didn't want to be an editor, a boss. He went at once to Hearst's Riverside Drive apartment to protest his canonization. During that late-night visit he made a discovery that added a fillip to the legend of Hearst himself. He found the Chief fully dressed except for shoes and socks. He followed his barefooted employer into the kitchen where bulldog editions of two or three Manhattan newspapers were spread across the tile floor. As they talked the publisher strolled about among these papers, stopping now and then to use his toes in turning the pages. It was apparent that this procedure was not a new thing with him -- he toed over the big pages expertly, as if he had been doing it all his life.

Fowler was puzzled. The Chief was a great man, but he could not read a newspaper at a distance of six feet. So Gene asked the purpose of the operation.

"This way," said Hearst, "I am able to get a better perspective of typographical makeup and layout."
From H. Allen Smith's The Life and Legend of Gene Fowler.
posted by Tom  # 3/04/2005 04:34:00 PM

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Moyers: Bush wants to turn the whole country into Texas 

From an interview with Bill Moyers:
You’re a Texan. LBJ was a Texan. Bush is a Texan. There’s all this myth about Texas. Does that give any edge in understanding this guy? Or is Bush really a Texan or just an East Coast Brahmin masquerading as a Texan?

He’s Texanized American politics. I was never fooled by it, but if you go home to Texas today, it’s a Christian empire. The state of Texas is a Christian nation. Conservative Christians dominate everything there. I don’t know Bush. I’ve never met him. I don’t know if he’s a likable man or not. But I know if I met him I would ask him, “How can you grow up well-churched and well-loved and well-taught and be so utterly insensitive to other people’s reality? How can you be so indifferent to people?” He’s a privileged man who is the ally of people who are trying to undo the social contract in this country and to take us back to the pre-1932 period, when it was every man for himself and American economic strategy was to let the animal spirits of capitalism run and everyone take the consequences. I do not understand that. Except to say that if a son of privilege cannot see beyond his own prerogatives and is therefore unable to feel and see how life is for others, then that’s a tragedy and a political travesty.
Read whole thing here.

Passed along by Brother Dave.
posted by Tom  # 3/03/2005 02:53:00 PM


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