The blog incarnation of the Desperado mailing list, the voice of the apocryphalypse since 1978.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

New Orleans music: "Don't you just know it" lyrics 

First in a series of ruminations on New Orleans music.

The mysterious lyrics from the 1958 hit by Huey "Piano" Smith and the Clowns, featuring Bobby Marchan:
I can't lose with the stuff I use (Don't you just know it)
Baby don't believe I'm wearin two left shoes (Don't you just know it)

Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Hey 'ay Oh (Hay 'ay Oh)
Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah (Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah)
Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)

Hey, pretty baby, can we go strollin (Don't you just know it)
You got me rockin when I oughta be rollin (Don't you just know it)

Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Hey 'ay Oh (Hay 'ay Oh)
Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah (Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah)
Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)

High on a mountain cool as a breeze (Don't you just know it)
Young girls get tougher the tighter they squeeze (Don't you just know it)

Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Hey 'ay Oh (Hay 'ay Oh)
Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah (Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah)
Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)

Baby baby you're my blue heaven (Don't you just know it)
You got me pushin when I oughta be shovin (Don't you just know it)

Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)
Hey 'ay Oh (Hay 'ay Oh)
Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah (Gubah Gubah Gubah Gubah)
Ha Ha Ha Ha (Ha Ha Ha Ha)
I believe these to be the true and correct lyrics, although this source doesn't agree. Where we disagree, my version is cooler. I sent them mail explaining this.
posted by Tom  # 9/29/2005 01:43:00 PM

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Without form, and void 

Why don't we just say something like this to the Intelligent Design people?
So, you reject the Biblical account of creation. Six days and then a day of rest. You don't believe God can do that? Why make up a pseudo-scientific theory when you have the word of God on what actually happened? The Bible doesn't mention Intelligent Design or jump through hoops to make room for the dinosaurs. I'm shocked at your disbelief. At least the evolutionists accept Darwin. Why do the ID people reject what God dictated to Moses that appears in the Book of Genesis? Then again, Darwin gave only one account, but Genesis has two. You don't believe either of them? Rejecting God twice? Darwin, a minister, never did that even once.

posted by Tom  # 9/27/2005 12:37:00 PM

Sunday, September 25, 2005

What if they gave a war protest and everybody came? 

When the Pentagon ran a private rival to Memorial Day and Veteran's Day this September 11, it appears not many came.

The few news stories, mostly in the Washington papers, stated politely that "thousands" marched that day. At least some of those were simply supporting the troops, some wanted to hear Clint Black for free, and some wanted to give President George W. "W" Bush and his war a big boost. But only "thousands" came, which means 9,999 or fewer, despite all the organizing skill and clout that the Pentagon and the Republican party brought to it. The march's web site disappeared and apparently the less said the better is the word on the street.

Yesterday, "hundreds of thousands" showed up for an anti-war rally. Let's say, just for argument, that "as many as" 10,000 showed up for the Pentagon affair and that "only" 200,000 showed up yesterday, that's 1 for 20. Of course, it could have been 3000 and 300,000, or 1 for 100. And that's despite the fact that there is no anti-war movement and that the organizers of yesterday's rally were a mixed bag of leathery leftist apparatchiks with ancient grudges against the Philadelphia police and the Israeli government, no real rally bait at all.

It comes down to this. The administration put their torture, pre-emptive war, and incompetent imperialism up against an inarticulate "none of that" and lost miserably.
posted by Tom  # 9/25/2005 12:58:00 PM

Friday, September 23, 2005

10 Things Your Plumber Won't Tell You 

My buddy, Billy the Builder (not in Google) passes along a pointer to "10 Things Your Plumber Won't Tell You".
posted by Tom  # 9/23/2005 01:06:00 PM

Savafian bought 15 per cent of everything? 

Isn't the federal government the largest consumer in the consumer economy? Doesn't the federal government buy 15 per cent of the cars, 15 per cent of the pencils, 15 per cent of almost everything that gets sold? Or is it 20 per cent?

Doesn't that give a corrupt person in charge of procurement policy in a corrupt administration an enormous, virtually invisible, opportunity for throwing around favors?

In other words, isn't it likely that David Savafian is more than just another one of Jack Abramoff's many, many crooked Republican friends? Isn't it likely that he's a key player in his own right?

The press, and web logs, for that matter, seem to be treating Savafian as just another indicted official (sorry, "former" official who resigned 72 hours ahead of the sheriff), as if he were just another speechwriter or "aide", rather than as the man with the national purse at his disposal.
posted by Tom  # 9/23/2005 11:56:00 AM

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Former child arrested, adult charges ensue 

He resigned Friday and wasn't arrested until Monday, so David Savafian gets billed as a "former" Bush administration official. This time gap is better known as "one step ahead of the sheriff".

He was in charge of setting policy for buying everything the federal government buys, that is, approximately 15 per cent of everything sold in the United States.
posted by Tom  # 9/20/2005 10:48:00 PM

Say it ain't so, Kate 

The highly moral JO got just a little upset at the breakfast table:
The hype-ocrisy machine cranks up again

The earth is spinning crazily off-axis this morning, my friends -- Kate Moss has betrayed our trust! How could a supermodel, of all people, be thoughtless enough to use illegal drugs? What was this wretched soul thinking? Or maybe she wasn't. When I think of all the wholesome, good, clean, Christian supermodels whose integrity is now in question, I weep for the future of the fashion industry and indeed, of our great country itself. And let us not forget even for an instant the children who look up to these paragons of virtue -- what about the children????

posted by Tom  # 9/20/2005 01:29:00 PM

Letters from Republicans we never finished reading 

Sent to me, Tom, for unknown reasons, by "Ken Mehlman, RNC Chairman" (kenmehlman@republicanvictory.com):
Dear Joanne ,

Last year, when I served as President Bush's re-election campaign manager, you were an essential part of our historic effort. Today, as chairman of the Republican National Committee, I would like to welcome you back to our team with this email.

posted by Tom  # 9/20/2005 01:09:00 PM

"Release" of "undercover soldiers" "negotiated" 

According to the BBC, British forces negotiated the release of two undercover soldiers originally arrested by Basra police from a jail run by Shia militia. The major ngotiating tool: six armored vehicles.

Said a BBC reporter:
"Now we are in the situation where presumably revenge will be sought by relatives of the dead Iraqis - and our allies in the police, I think there has been a complete breakdown of trust and it's going to be very difficult for British troops to call on them."
Such a tidy little war we've gotten ourselves into.

"Undercover soldiers"? (Google link)
posted by Tom  # 9/20/2005 12:58:00 PM

Monday, September 19, 2005

The evolution of an e-bay auction 

Because it can't be Intelligent Design.

Keep on scrolling.
posted by Tom  # 9/19/2005 05:11:00 PM

Pre-Katrina national debt 

You're going to be so surprised by this essay with charts:
United States National Debt (1938 to Present) – An Analysis of the Presidents Who Are Responsible For Excessive Spending

posted by Tom  # 9/19/2005 04:58:00 PM

No going off on a tangent, or a secant either, sines of the times 

Trigonometry was my highest mathematical achievement. I understood it and could do it, although it hasn't come up much since, but when I read this statement, I wonder how I ever did manage to understand:
"So teachers have resigned themselves to teaching students about circles and pi and complicated trigonometric functions that relate circular arc lengths to x and y projections – all in order to analyse triangles."
Here's the whole story From physorg.com:
New trigonometry is a sign of the times

Mathematics students have cause to celebrate. A University of New South Wales academic, Dr Norman Wildberger, has rewritten the arcane rules of trigonometry and eliminated sines, cosines and tangents from the trigonometric toolkit.

What's more, his simple new framework means calculations can be done without trigonometric tables or calculators, yet often with greater accuracy.

Established by the ancient Greeks and Romans, trigonometry is used in surveying, navigation, engineering, construction and the sciences to calculate the relationships between the sides and vertices of triangles.

"Generations of students have struggled with classical trigonometry because the framework is wrong," says Wildberger, whose book is titled Divine Proportions: Rational Trigonometry to Universal Geometry (Wild Egg books).

Dr Wildberger has replaced traditional ideas of angles and distance with new concepts called "spread" and "quadrance".

These new concepts mean that trigonometric problems can be done with algebra," says Wildberger, an associate professor of mathematics at UNSW.

"Rational trigonometry replaces sines, cosines, tangents and a host of other trigonometric functions with elementary arithmetic."

"For the past two thousand years we have relied on the false assumptions that distance is the best way to measure the separation of two points, and that angle is the best way to measure the separation of two lines.

"So teachers have resigned themselves to teaching students about circles and pi and complicated trigonometric functions that relate circular arc lengths to x and y projections – all in order to analyse triangles. No wonder students are left scratching their heads," he says.

"But with no alternative to the classical framework, each year millions of students memorise the formulas, pass or fail the tests, and then promptly forget the unpleasant experience.

"And we mathematicians wonder why so many people view our beautiful subject with distaste bordering on hostility.

"Now there is a better way. Once you learn the five main rules of rational trigonometry and how to simply apply them, you realise that classical trigonometry represents a misunderstanding of geometry."

Wild Egg books
Divine Proportions

posted by Tom  # 9/19/2005 12:35:00 PM

Friday, September 16, 2005

What if the memorial had been shaped like a cross? 

The memorial for the "Let's roll!" passengers whose plane went down in Pennsylvania is going to be a red crescent. Wingnuts are flying high on outrage. Liberals are in full tut-tut mode at these boors who don't understand art.

Just a minute, if you please. What if the memorial had been shaped like a cross? A Star of David? An ankh? Kokopelli? A feather from a white chicken? A prayer wheel?

Isn't it just possible that using a religious symbol of any kind would be offensive? And, if so, isn't the symbol of the religion in whose name the plane was attacked, however false to Islam the attackers may have been, just not a very wise or tasteful choice?

The "Crescent of Embrace" looks like a mistake to me. No one is going to get it, however beautiful it may be in the abstract. Everyone is going to think of Islam when they see it. Sorry, but this doesn't seem fair to either the victims nor to the millions of peaceful Muslims.
posted by Tom  # 9/16/2005 02:28:00 PM

A is for Army and Anarchists and Algiers 

Latest news from the Louisiana political-military complex, link from Reason mag:
Military requests medics from anarchist relief project

The situation in Algiers got a bit more surreal this week when the U.S. military asked the anarchists for help in providing basic services to local residents. A medical military clinic commander asked the folks running the Common Ground Clinic if they could lend a few medics and doctors to the military until the military sets up a “permanent” health clinic on Newton Avenue on Monday.

posted by Tom  # 9/16/2005 02:07:00 PM

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Show us your secret underwear, Governor 

Wiretap mosques, Romney suggests
I suppose, with most of the Bill of Rights terrorized into shreds, this seemed like a dandy idea to a Republican governor on a hopeless quest to fill the shoes of George W. "W" Bush but in the Governor's religion, no one but his fellow apostates are permitted inside his Holy Tabernacle. As the Salt Lake City guidebook puts it,
Only LDS members are permitted within, but you may admire it from outside.
But then, as Brother Dave notes, bugging mosques will do no good because we don't have enough translators to process the Arabic intelligence we've already gathered.

Ed's note:About that underwear.
posted by Tom  # 9/15/2005 12:30:00 PM

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Bush is a blockhead in Latin too! 

The Notre Dame Latin Translator and Grammar Aid provides the following translation [in brackets] of the word bush:

frutex -ticis m. [a shrub , bush]; as a term of reproach, [blockhead].
This one came to me from Brother Dave, who added, after Cato, Frutex esse delendus.

Ed's note: Yeah, I vaguely thought it was Carthago delenda est, too, but trusting Dave's Latin, I searched Google for Carthago esse delendus.

Google knew, as Dave did, that Frutex was masculine and Carthago was neuter and blithely returned the error:
Did you mean: Carthago esse delendum?

posted by Tom  # 9/14/2005 09:24:00 PM

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Commando maxim proved in New Orleans 

One man who knows what he is doing is worth a dozen who don't have the slightest idea what is happening.
A member of the Lone Star Military Vehicle Association gasses up the M35A2 (a ten-wheel-drive two-and-a-half-ton truck), loads it with water and food, pops on the old army uniform (and a .45-caliber automatic) and heads east into the disaster.
posted by Tom  # 9/13/2005 07:24:00 PM

How he got that nickname. How he lost it. 

I wonder how former FEMA director Michael Brown got that nickname Brownie?

Now they're saying, "Drownie, you're doing a heckuva job!"
posted by Tom  # 9/13/2005 12:40:00 PM

Monday, September 12, 2005

New Orleans, America's musical hometown 

New Orleans radio WWOZ is posting a regularly updated list of musicians, groups, and musical figures who escaped the storm.

They are also streaming New Orleans music from "WWOZ in Exile". When John Lennon died we heard lots of Beatles music. Maybe . . .

Just to give some of the flavor, here's one name for each letter of the alphabet: Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews, Eddie Bo, Harry Connick Sr., Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Snooks Eaglin, Jonathan Freilich (New Orleans Klezmer All-Stars), Paul Grass (Egg Yolk Jubilee), Matt Hampsey (Sunpie & the Louisiana Sunspots), Iguanas, Jerry Jumonville, Antoinette K-Doe, Louisiana Red Hot Records, Marine Forces Reserve Band (just above six from the Marsalis family), Naked on the FLOOR (just above six Nevilles), Anders Osborne, Earl Palmer, Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Kermit Ruffins, Saint Louis Slim, Willie Tee, Martin Urbach, Hubie Vigreaux, Walter "Wolfman" Washington, Masataka Yamazake, Zydepunks. And X for unknown. I know you haven't heard of all of these players, neither have I, but the home of American music has been destroyed. There are hundreds more on the list, Peter Holsapple, Alex Chilton, Irma Thomas, Fats Domino. No word on Ernie K-Doe.

Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown made it out of town, but died the next day in Texas. He was 81, singer, songwriter, guitarist, fiddler, bandleader, country singer, jazz player, R&B all-star, and keen personality.
posted by Tom  # 9/12/2005 02:07:00 PM

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Zero tolerance 

Brother Dave offers a slogan for the Democrats:
Just say N.O.

posted by Tom  # 9/11/2005 02:39:00 PM

Four more years? 

Osama bin Forgotten.

I'll bet he managed to turn on the TV "all by self" to find out what was happening in New Orleans, as opposed to President Bush, who had to wait for someone to make him a DVD to watch the next day so he wouldn't appear utterly uninformed when he landed in the devastated region five days after the storm and flood.
posted by Tom  # 9/11/2005 02:32:00 PM

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Blame Game (apologies to Shirley Ellis) 

It's a musical disaster for a musical city:
The blame game!

Duty, duty bo Buty Bonanafana fo Futy
Fee fy mo Muty, Duty!

Responsibility, responsibility bo Besponsibility Bonanafana fo Fesponsibility
Fee fy mo Mesponsibility, Responsibility!

Leader, leader bo Beader Bonanafana fo Feader
Fe fy mo Meader, Leader!

Failure failure bo Bailure Bonanafana fo Ailure
Fee fy mo Mailure, Failure!

George, George bo Beorge Bonanafana fo Feorge
Fee fy mo Meorge, George!

Guilty guilty bo Builty Bonanafana fo Fuilty
Fee fy mo Muilty, Guilty!

posted by Tom  # 9/10/2005 12:04:00 PM

Friday, September 09, 2005

Tell Laura I love her 

Mrs. George W. "W" Bush referred to Katrina as Corrina.

She must have got her tongue wrapped around her eyeteeth so she couldn't see what she was saying (as we say down south). Maybe she thinking of the good old song recorded in New Orleans by Big Joe Turner, the Boss of the Blues:
I left Corrina, way across the sea
I left Corrina, way across the sea
If you see Corrina, send her home to me
Just another heedless heartless thoughtless misspeaking from the heedless heartless thoughtless Bush family.
posted by Tom  # 9/09/2005 12:51:00 PM

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Randi meet Randy and Randy 

Last night Randi Rhodes said
Looking at former presidents Bush and Clinton you can't help but think we'd be a lot better off if they'd both kept it in their pants.

posted by Tom  # 9/08/2005 12:06:00 AM

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Ranger Rick has a couple of observations:
posted by Tom  # 9/07/2005 06:20:00 PM

Friday, September 02, 2005

A PR champion at the top of his form 

The administration of George W. "W" Bush may be incompetent and corrupt, but they're tops in PR, spin, and looking good. Right? Certainly, they would never make the mistake of making people think of other instances of royal indifference to the sufferings of the little people:Nosirree bobtail. None of that would happen, because they're masters of spin and PR and they'd never make those kind of mistakes. If they did, someone might think of "Apres moi, l'deluge."

PS -- And he'd never be seen crossing the tarmac cuddling his little lapdog like Charles the Second with his silky spaniel. Not when there's hurricanes to fight and "folks" dying.
posted by Tom  # 9/02/2005 12:36:00 PM


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