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Desperado

The blog incarnation of the Desperado mailing list, the voice of the apocryphalypse since 1978.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Grizzly by name, grisly by nature 


The preternaturally slim JO looks deep into baseball and finds the Crown of Creation:
Homer Simpson would love the newest taste sensation in minor league baseball: the doughnut burger.

Head to a Gateway Grizzlies game and this gut-buster could be yours. We kid you not. The Gateway Grizzlies of the Frontier League promised to create "Baseball's Best Burger" in time for the team's opener in late May. And they appear to have succeeded.

The ballpark sandwich will include a hamburger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon -- all between a "bun" made of a sliced Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.
Read the article for more amazing horsehide edibles from Sauget, Illinois.
posted by Tom  # 3/20/2006 01:04:00 PM
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Thursday, March 16, 2006

If you're in a hole, why not just dig another hole in the bottom of the one you're in? 


Having dispatched Iraq to nearly universal kudos, President George W. "W" Bush will now dispatch Iran as well. Confidence is so high that the administration is cutting veteran's benefits again. Won't be needed, I guess.
posted by Tom  # 3/16/2006 12:32:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

All web logs have been rendered obsolete 300 years in advance by Samuel Pepys 


"Pepys" is pronounced "Peeps" as all English majors know, but few indeed are the English majors with the energy and bravado to convert The Diary of Samuel Pepys into a web log, and what a web log it is, with cross-references and user comments beautifully integrated, all that coding going to prove that there is nothing new under the sun and that Samuel Pepys, fun-loving 17th c. technocrat, certainly had the knack.

The link goes to an entry for today's date and hot spots take you to the rest of the diary and to great heaps of background information. I started to put an excerpt here, but it's more fun to plunge in. Today's entry is rather dry, his wife takes her new ladies companion to church, but if the randy old diarist lives up to his reputation, he'll soon be sharing more than a pew with her. As he remarks, "Ashwell is such good company that I think we shall be very lucky in her."

Ed's note: Spellchecker offered Pepsi for Pepys.
posted by Tom  # 3/15/2006 06:16:00 PM
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"I'm writing as hard as I can" 


From the fabootylicious JO:
From the opening paragraph of Turning Angel by Greg Iles, #10 on the Publishers Weekly hardcover fiction bestseller list the week of 1/23/06, as quoted in the magazine:
"... She bobbed in the current beneath the Highway 61 bridge, naked and unbloodied, not yet gray, limp as a sleeping child. She rolled with the creek, which wound through the woods toward the paper mill and crashed into the Mississippi River in a maelstrom of brown waves. The girl made this journey alone and unknowing, but soon she would whip the town into another kind of maelstrom, one that would make the river seem placid by comparison."
Sigh.

posted by Tom  # 3/15/2006 06:08:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Kerry, Sí; Kennedy, Who me? 


As for the Feingold censure resolution, Senator Kerry says he will vote for it, Senator Kennedy has not yet decided whether an open, public defiance of the law by the President should be censured or supported.
posted by Tom  # 3/14/2006 04:03:00 PM
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Friday, March 10, 2006

"I have come up with a plan so cunning that if it were alive, you could call it a weasel." 


Light posting, for obvious reasons, but here is something fine lifted entire from a Salon squib:
And who says we don't have a plan for victory?

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, testifying today before the Senate Appropriations Committee:
"The plan is to prevent a civil war, and to the extent one were to occur, to have the, from a security standpoint, have the Iraqi security forces deal with it to the extent they're able to."

-- Tim Grieve
Ed's note:Headline via Blackadder.
posted by Tom  # 3/10/2006 05:15:00 PM
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Saturday, March 04, 2006

A simple, if futile, gesture is too much for Massachusetts senators 


The names Kennedy and Kerry share a beginning and ending, so it was easy to cut-and-paste the following letter to send to both of them:
Dear Senator Kerry:

I am sorely disappointed to see that you did not support Senator Russ Feingold's filibuster against the PATRIOT Act. Senator Feingold offers genuine leadership to the Democratic party on the most vital issue facing the nation, terrorism and the response that a free people should make to it. That you and Senator Kennedy voted to extend the Act will in the future be a part of the chronicle of the decline and fall of the Democratic Party.

It is bad enough that the provisions of the PATRIOT act constitute a precise, formal assault on the rights enumerated and implied in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. What is worse, a vote for the Act is a vote supporting an insidious regime that has not only abrogated virtually every one of those rights, but has also operated torture and foreign detention camps filled with uncharged prisoners who will never see any form of due process, however debased.

I don't think Americans want these things. I don't think Americans want cowardly senators who vote for them. I certainly don't. You are backing the wrong side. I do not know where the vigorous, brave leadership to challenge the destruction of our democracy will come, but it does not appear that it will come from you or the Democratic Party of which you are a leader.

This was a moment when all it took was a simple, if futile, gesture of support and the Senators from Massachusetts, those two "great liberals", stood instead with the torturers.

Sincerely,
Here's the list of names Kerry and Kennedy didn't make:
Akaka (D-HI)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Byrd (D-WV)
Feingold (D-WI)
Harkin (D-IA)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Murray (D-WA)
Wyden (D-OR)

posted by Tom  # 3/04/2006 05:20:00 PM
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Huffington=Puffington? 


Could it be that the mighty Huffington Post, web logging's shining city on a hill, is just a wee bit irrelevant?

Today's touted lineup emphasis added:
Playboy Says It Wont Pull Jessica Alba Issue Staying On Newsstands...

Gyllenhaal, Clooney, Other Stars To Arrive At Oscars In Hybrid Cars...

Madonna Shopping For Israeli Home For Kabbalah Study...

Greenspan Memoir Bidding Hits $8 Million... Nearing Pope John Paul II..

Pesticides Found In Most US Rivers...

Kid Rock: Creed's Scott Stapp An Idiot For Losing Sex Tape...

Buffalo, NY Prosecutor Fired For White Supremacist Meeting...
Ed's note: Spellchecker offered to replace "kabbalah" with "gabble".
posted by Tom  # 3/04/2006 05:04:00 PM
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Randy Duke Cunningham shows the way 


Rescued from comments on a Political Animal piece about the very greedy and indiscreet Republican Congressman Randy Duke Cunningham:
You know, if we had cameras in all our Representative's and Senator's offices, and had all their phones tapped, so that all of their conversations were monitored... then there would be no more corruption!

I, for one, am willing to give up a little more privacy for them in exchange for a little more security for me.

Let's roll!
Posted by: craigie on March 4, 2006 at 12:26 PM
Go,craigie!

Ed's note: Can you imagine Zippy intoning Randy Duke Cunningham Randy Duke Cunningham?
posted by Tom  # 3/04/2006 02:01:00 PM
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